SQUIDWARD: One Krabby Patty for table two.
SpongeBob, I don't have the whole day!
Oui, oui, une Krabby Patty, monsieur.
There's les patty.
Come on, SpongeBob!
Next, l'ingredients.
Ah-whee!
Les mustard.
Will you quit fooling around?!
Where's my Krabby Patty?
Les hold on a second.
And voilà!
It's under your nose!
( cackles )
( laughs )
You're killing me, SpongeBob.
Ha, ha!
You really are.
SPONGEBOB: Look at it, Squidward...
Mr. Krabs' gift to all of Bikini Bottom... the Krabby Patty.
Okay, give it to me.
Come on, SpongeBob, stop it!
I swear, I'm not doing anything.
Mr. Krabs!
That Krabby Patty is haunted!
Avast, ye patty pirate!
This is no ghost.
This is...
Plankton!
Stealin' me booty!
Hear me, Krabs... when I discover your formula for Krabby Patties,
I'll run you out of business.
I went to college!
Hey!
PLANKTON: Let me go!
Oh, I'll let you go, squirt...
on a flying saucer!
( laughs maliciously )
Back to the Chum Bucket with you!
PLANKTON: You'll pay for this, Krabs!
Uh... Plankton, sir?
Aye, he's been trying
to steal me secret formula for years.
But ye haven't got it yet, have ye, bug?
( both laugh )
( stops laughing )
Okay.
Enough, lad, it wasn't that funny.
Get back to work!
SPONGEBOB: Okay, Mr. Krabs, see you tomorrow.
Good night, me boy.
PLANKTON: Psst...
young man...
Yes, over here.
Come on, boy, a little closer.
Closer.
Not that close!
Ah!
You blasted barnacle head!
I mean... hi!
Plankton?
Ouch!
What do you want?
I just want to talk.
You could say we're friends, right?
Um... no.
Acquaintances.
No.
Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we?
I... guess so.
You see, everything works out.
I have something for you.
l've been keeping it in my secret compartment.
Ching! Sparkle, sparkle!
Wow! A golden spatula!
And it's even got my name on it.
It's a gift.
A gift from a friend.
Friends give each other gifts.
And tomorrow is my birthday.
( toots )
And you know what I'd like
more than anything in the whole wide world?
A booster seat?
Booster seat? Hot dog!
I mean, no.
What I want for my birthday from you, my friend,
is one of those...
tender... delicious...
Krabby Patties.
( cries out )
You just want to be friends
so you can get your hands on a Krabby Patty!
And I bet it's not even your birthday tomorrow!
Gee, and I thought you were stupid.
You'll never get a Krabby Patty from me!
Even if we are friends!
Never, never, never, never!
Oh, I'll get a Krabby Patty.
And you're going to hand-deliver it to me personally,
you weak-minded fool!
( dramatic film music plays, sinister chuckling )
SPONGEBOB: Night, Gary.
( meows )
( snoring )
( chuckles )
SpongeBob, you will be mine.
WOMAN: ♪ ...Letters of the alphabet, a, b, c... ♪
( dramatic film music plays, sinister chuckling )
It should be in here somewhere.
But where?
Where?
Oh.
This will be the beginning of the end.
( snoring )
Ouch!
Stupid brain.
Come back here, you swine!
Whoa... oof!
That's it, brain,
you're going down!
Yes, yes, that's grand.
And now, for my very elaborate and college-educated plan.
And now it's time for a little wakey-uppy.
Morning already?
l... I feel a little funny today.
Yeah, yeah!
I have you now.
Time for a well-balanced breakfast.
This isn't what I had in mind.
Let me just grab my pants.
I guess I'm not wearing any pants today.
Oops! I guess I'm not using the door, either.
See you later, Gary... I guess.
( Gary meows )
You're right, Gary,
there is something wrong with me!
Squidward! Squidward!
Wake up! I need some help!
Squidward! Help!
Be quiet, SpongeBob!
Help...!
SpongeBob, what are you doing?
I'm talking to you!
SpongeBob, SpongeBob!
Are you mad?
( in Plankton's voice ): Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player.
Mediocre?
You pretentious little insignificant artist.
Your snivelly creations are worth less
than a protozoan's waste.
( in his own voice ): Something must be wrong with my brain!
( gasps )
Plankton!
What kind of friend are you?
Nonsense! You never liked me, anyway.
You wouldn't even come to my birthday party!
Get out of my head!
Leave my brain alone!
( with Plankton's voice ): Never! Never!
( laughs evilly )
( sighs )
( snoring )
Toot, toot!
How about a little takeout?
SPONGEBOB: Nope, no, never!
( Plankton laughing evilly )
You can't fool me, Plankton.
You want the Krabby Patty formula!
PLANKTON: You are going to hand-deliver it to me personally.
No, no, no!
There's no one here.
Don't remind me.
PLANKTON: Brace yourself, SpongeBob.
This is my lab!
( barks )
And this is my laboratory!
And did I ever show you my record player?
( dramatic film music plays, sinister chuckling )
I must fight.
( mumbling nonsensically )
No, no, no, no!
( screams )
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
PLANKTON: There, you see how much easier it is
when you help, friend?
How do you like my analyzer?
lt tells the ingredients of whatever I put into it.
ANALYZER: Seaweed: 50% sea, 50% weed.
Impressed?
Now let's reveal that secret formula.
And this little piggy brought home a Krabby Patty.
This little piggy will help me drop it in.
Any last words, SpongeBob SecretPants?
I... I...
I just have to say I'm sorry l let Mr. Krabs down.
I let all of Bikini Bottom down.
But worst of all, l let you down,
you delicate little Krabby Patty.
Mmm!
With your tasty, juicy, scrumptious,
warm, steamy goodness.
Steamy!
SPONGEBOB: l'll never forget your 100% all-secret patty,
secretly assembled with undersea cheese,
pickle, lettuce, tomato, onion,
all secretly steaming between two fluffy seaweed-seed buns.
PLANKTON: Yes... yes... yes!
PLANKTON: Come to papa!
Oh, boy.
( electricity crackles )
( analyzer beeping )
Plankton: one percent evil, 99% hot gas.
Well, this stinks.
Well, patty, I guess we can go home now.
PLANKTON: SpongeBob, that's my Krabby Patty!
Give it back, you porous freak!
I command you!
My patty!
No!!!
I'll settle for some fries.